My Husband's Snoring Will Be the Death of Me!
  My Husband  Snores and I Can't  Sleep!  “TURN! OVER!!"  I beg for the third time in half an hour.  My husband snores like a banshee (not that I’ve ever heard one snore …  nor have I ever seen one). This time I leave out the‘PLEEEEZE” "What? Huh?"  he groans from somewhere in dreamland, as he shifts his position slightly. "You're SNORRRING!"  I wail, irritation thinning my voice after my innumerable fruitless attempts to subdue those snoring sounds – the deafening, interminable, deafening roar! I finally succeed. Or so I think.  He momentarily emerges from La-la-Land, lifts his head turtle-style, and mumbles: "No I'm not!" No sooner are the words out of his mouth than he falls asleep again, and off he goes:  first pianissimo, then building to a grand crescendo, as if to say “I’ll GIVE you snoring!!” Exasperated and insulted, I nevertheless respond sweetly:  “If you weren’t snoring, why on earth would I wake you up to turn over?" "Beats me!”  He mutters accusingly, and off he goes again. In sheer desperation I grab my pillow and a blanket, stomp my way to the living room and collapse onto the sofa. Eureka!!!  Blissful silence!  It's cramped, but who cares?  It's quiet!   I position myself carefully so that I don’t once again fall out of this narrow, makeshift bed.  When he wakes up in the morning, fresh as a daisy and full of the joys of spring, he remembers nothing of our little nighttime verbal dispute. Why should he?  He was sleeping all night - I'm the one who spent half the night nudging, cajoling, begging, yelling and poking. yelling and poking. I  have not slept a wink all night (a ...
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