Complicated Grief

Complicated Grief

  I am haunted by unremitting waves of helplessness that threaten to engulf the futile thread of hope to which I cling – hope that I could somehow ease the pain pulsating through my daughter's veins. She has suffered a loss like no other: the death of her little girl  - a brave, remarkable and stunningly beautiful child who died over six years ago, shortly after her fourth birthday. I silently witness my daughter facing each day without herdaughter, resolutely putting one foot in front of the other as she attends to the needs of her family. Her pain lurks furtively beneath ...
Is This For Real?

Is This For Real?

    Feigning an air of confidence to conceal the raging disquiet inside, I scanned the restaurant and headed for a table near the back, where I could observe him searching for the forty-something woman with whom he had shared a few words on the telephone. He had neither met me nor seen a photograph. The year was 1986, long before the advent of online dating. I had purpose-ly arrived early to give myself time to adopt that elusive veneer of tranquility. The dating game was indeed uncharted territory. Having been only 18 years old when I married my first husband, I was ill ...
A Centenarian Birthday Celebration

A Centenarian Birthday Celebration

Last week I had the distinct privilege of attending a centenarian birthday celebration, as my  remarkable mother-in-law, Rose Gould (see “My Mother-in-law - My Inspiration”) turned 100 years of age.  Since few people reach this milestone, it was a rare opportunity - although, having said that, I might add that my former mother-in-law lived to the age of 103, and her name was also Rose! The celebration was an incredible event – magnificently orchestrated by her granddaughter – my step daughter - Staci Gould, who (aged mid-40's) lives with Rose in a retirement community in order that Rose may continue to live ...
But Nobody Told Me!

But Nobody Told Me!

Telling my adult children about aging feels important to me.  My mother was 84 when she died. She never talked about what it felt like to grow old - the good, the bad and the ugly - so here I am at 67 with no road map, and much of what I have encountered has been unexpected.   Here is some of what I have learned so far: The Challenges 1. I have learned that growing old gracefully is a lofty (and for me unattainable) ideal. How can I possibly embrace the aging process with grace when the image in the ...
Reflections on the Benefits of Blogging

Reflections on the Benefits of Blogging

What Blogging Has Meant to Me By Adele Gould   As 2013 draws to a close, I reflect on the past eight months or so, since the inception of this blog, and wonder why I didn't do this years ago. Looking back I can see that I was intimidated by my lack of knowledge about blogging, and lacked the confidence to learn. To add to that, it felt a little narcissistic to be writing about myself and my life, and expecting people to read it – but I now know that there are people all over the world  - people that I don't ...
Complicated Grief
Posted on June 24, 2018 by Adele Gould
  I am haunted by unremitting waves of helplessness that threaten to engulf the futile thread of hope to which I cling – hope that I could somehow ease the pain pulsating through my daughter's veins. She has suffered a loss like no other: the death of her little girl  - a brave, remarkable and stunningly beautiful child who died over ...
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Is This For Real?
Posted on by Adele Gould
    Feigning an air of confidence to conceal the raging disquiet inside, I scanned the restaurant and headed for a table near the back, where I could observe him searching for the forty-something woman with whom he had shared a few words on the telephone. He had neither met me nor seen a photograph. The year was 1986, long before the advent ...
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A Centenarian Birthday Celebration
Posted on June 20, 2014 by Adele Gould
Last week I had the distinct privilege of attending a centenarian birthday celebration, as my  remarkable mother-in-law, Rose Gould (see “My Mother-in-law - My Inspiration”) turned 100 years of age.  Since few people reach this milestone, it was a rare opportunity - although, having said that, I might add that my former mother-in-law lived to the age of 103, and ...
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But Nobody Told Me!
Posted on May 9, 2014 by Adele Gould
Telling my adult children about aging feels important to me.  My mother was 84 when she died. She never talked about what it felt like to grow old - the good, the bad and the ugly - so here I am at 67 with no road map, and much of what I have encountered has been unexpected.   Here is ...
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Reflections on the Benefits of Blogging
Posted on December 28, 2013 by Adele Gould
What Blogging Has Meant to Me By Adele Gould   As 2013 draws to a close, I reflect on the past eight months or so, since the inception of this blog, and wonder why I didn't do this years ago. Looking back I can see that I was intimidated by my lack of knowledge about blogging, and lacked the confidence to learn. To ...
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Apartheid in South Africa - My Experience as a White South African
Posted on December 9, 2013 by Adele Gould
    My Experiences as a White South African The death of Nelson Mandela - my hero and the world’s icon - brings to the surface the deep shame I have carried with me for all of my adult life. I was once a typical white South African – privileged and spoiled – who learned by example to treat with disregard the needs ...
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More Thought Provoking Questions
Posted on December 8, 2013 by Adele Gould
A couple of months ago I wrote a post in which I elaborated on my penchant for deep, meaningful conversations. I chose 7 categories. posed three questions for each, and shared my own answers to each question. I was taken aback by the response to this post. In just a few weeks it was read  by over two thousand  people  from around ...
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My Mother-in-Law - My Inspiration
Posted on November 27, 2013 by Adele Gould
  Why My Mother-in-Law is My Inspiration At the age of 99 my mother-in-law-continues to amaze me, and to teach me by example about aging and attitude, and about courage, grace and dignity. While it is true that she has genetics on her side, what is so admirable is how she deals with life's challenges..  As an almost-centenarian she has outlived not ...
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Low Self-Esteem is not a Life Sentence
Posted on November 10, 2013 by Adele Gould
      Can One Really Learn How to Build Confidence and Self Esteem? Is it possible to  learn how to build confidence and self esteem?   With determination and perseverance, the answer is a resounding ‘yes!’  I am living proof that having low self-esteem is not a life sentence! Symptoms of Low Self Esteem - What Does It Feel Like? For many, many years I was plagued with ...
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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Posted on September 19, 2013 by Adele Gould
I have been living with Parkinsons for over ten years, diagnosed in my mid 50s. Despite this I lead a very full and joyful life within the parameters dictated by the disease.  But - now in my mid 60 s - I am also dealing with issues related to the aging process.  From time to time I butt heads with ...
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Thought Provoking Questions
Posted on September 11, 2013 by Adele Gould
  by Adele Gould Deep Thought Provoking Questions – So What’s the Big Deal? If there was an Association for People Who Appreciate Deep Thought Provoking Questions,  I would be a card carrying member – if not the president. I am famous (alright let’s call a spade a spade: notorious) in my circles for the way in which I engage with people when ...
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What If?
Posted on August 28, 2013 by Adele Gould
  What If? What if you still were with us today? What if you’d never been taken away? I try to envision how life would have been Without the deep longing that smolders within What if your life had not been cut short? What if you'd won the battle you fought? You'd be all grown up – now ten years old With big brown eyes, and beauty untold What if ...
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My Husband's Snoring Will Be the Death of Me!
Posted on August 20, 2013 by Adele Gould
  My Husband  Snores and I Can't  Sleep!  “TURN! OVER!!"  I beg for the third time in half an hour.  My husband snores like a banshee (not that I’ve ever heard one snore …  nor have I ever seen one). This time I leave out the‘PLEEEEZE” "What? Huh?"  he groans from somewhere in dreamland, as he shifts his position slightly. "You're SNORRRING!"  I wail, ...
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Happiness - The Search for a Quick Fix
Posted on by Adele Gould
The Search for a Quick Fix What is happiness? What is true happiness?  Our society is obsessed with questions about happiness – what it is and how to acquire it – such that we found ourselves on a ubiquitous search for a panacea – a quick fix that will sprinkle a happy potion over our collective senses and enable us to ...
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I Hate Small Talk!
Posted on August 18, 2013 by Adele Gould
Why do I hate small talk? I’ll get straight to the point and illustrate  by way of an example. It goes something like this ‘Hello, Ma’am. How are you today?” asks the caller, whose name appears on my call display as “unavailable”.  The hairs at the back of my neck point north as I kick myself for answering, thus defeating the ...
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